#but hating woman is more important to you

[fannedandflawless]

The Devotion That Never Grew Up

I'll be honest: I've gone back and forth about what kind of love Severus Snape felt for Lily Evans.

Romantic? Possibly. If the stars aligned and they had actually dated, I think they could've made a rather beautiful, fiercely loyal, deeply bonded couple. The kind that doesn’t go around flaunting things but holds a private, searing intimacy only they can understand. And in that universe? Lily Evans would've received something akin to a first-prize wizarding world lottery ticket: an undivided, obsessive-leaning love from a man who would spend his life keeping her safe in silence. A kind of love built not on flowers and flirtation, but on fierce loyalty and unspoken sacrifice.

But that’s the thing. It didn’t happen. So if it wasn’t romantic in the traditional sense, and it wasn’t platonic in the easy, breezy, let's-grab-butterbeer-and-gossip way, then what exactly was it?

Because we know what it wasn’t: it wasn’t shallow, it wasn’t fleeting, and it most certainly wasn’t obsession in the reductive, toxic way some corners of the fandom like to claim.

So what was it?

Alterous Love?

The phrase that comes to mind most often is alterous. It’s the kind of love that lives between platonic and romantic. Not quite either, and far too deep to be dismissed as friendly affection. It’s:

"I want to be with you in the most important way, but I don’t know what that way is."

A desire for permanent proximity, not possession.

Love without lust, devotion without a script.

Alterous love is the feeling that this person matters more than anyone, even if I can't define how. It explains why the grief, the loss, and the guilt hit him like a full-body curse. If he had simply wanted her romantically, time might have dulled the pain. If it was purely platonic, the grief wouldn't have been embedded into the shape of his Patronus.

So what triggered it? Perhaps the moment she saw him as a person before anyone else did. Perhaps the moment she laughed with him without flinching. Perhaps the moment she chose to sit beside him on the train when no one else would.

Emotional Devotion?

Another possibility is emotional devotion—not romantic or sexual, but a kind of sacred commitment. A love that asks for nothing, but gives everything. One that doesn’t aim to win someone’s heart, but to carry their memory, their safety, their dignity.

This kind of love doesn’t seek to be seen. It survives being unspoken. It becomes identity.

Snape didn’t want Lily’s love back. Not really. What he wanted was for her to live. For her to not hate him. For her to know he tried.

But What If It Was Platonic?

Let’s consider the platonic route. Purely, truly platonic. The kind of childhood bond that could’ve remained a quiet but strong foundation through the years.

But if it were truly just platonic, would his entire emotional being collapse the way it did? Would his Patronus — a deeply personal expression of one’s inner life—take on her form? Tonks’ Patronus changed when she fell for Remus, clearly out of romantic love. Snape’s Doe came from something no less absolute.

Which brings us here.

The Love That Froze In Time

The Lily Snape loved was not the fully grown woman who married James. It was the Lily who smiled at him with soft certainty long before Hogwarts, back when they met near the edge of the playground, in a world still untouched by houses or war—a world where the only judgment came in the form of Petunia's side-eyes and huffed disapproval. The Lily who sat beside him before he had a house, a name, a label. He loved her before he knew what love required of him.

That love never got the chance to grow up. It was frozen at the moment he needed her most and lost her anyway.

He didn’t just love her. He became his love for her.

Not possession. Not romance. Not even grief.

Devotion as identity. That is what remained.

⸻

The Match, the Silence, and the Frozen Flame A Severus Snape series, in three acts of pain.

🕯️ WHO LIT THE MATCH? 🕯️ Selective Loyalty and the Lily Problem 🕯️ The Devotion That Never Grew Up (You're here)

⸻ I’d written this a while ago, but crossing paths with @doeprince-blog—and the thoughtful exchange that followed—reminded me why I wrote it in the first place, and why now felt like the right time to let it breathe.

[lacydaydream]

Letters To My Baby Girl

cw: nothing! just dean being a sweet n sentimental girl dad

estelle yaps: dean my beloved. this is a collection of letters dean would write to his daughter on her birthday! i got this idea from the amazing book Beach Read by emily henry. read it, it will change your life.

wc: 1.3K

Dear baby girl,

Today is the day you made me the happiest man in the world. You’ve got ten tiny toes, two bright eyes, ten perfect fingers, and the cutest little nose I’ve ever seen. And even if you didn’t- even if you had none of those things- you’d still be the most perfect girl to ever exist. No contest.

You fit right in the palm of my hand. When I held you for the first time, when I felt how small and breakable and precious you were, I cried. Didn’t stand a chance.

I knew you were coming. I knew it for months. Uncle Sam and I spent weeks working on your nursery. We had no idea we were signing up for the most important job of our lives- building a space that made your mama smile and still felt cool enough to be ours. So yeah, that’s why you’ve got both Winnie the Pooh stuffed animals and a Zeppelin record hanging on your wall. You’ll understand someday. Or maybe you won’t- but that’s okay, too.

Still, it didn’t feel real until they handed you to me. Not after the long hours of labor. Not after all the words that flew out of your mama’s mouth when things got tough. It was you- pink and new and naked to the world and all its ugliness- that made it hit me. You were something to protect. Someone to protect.

You’re a someone. You’re going to grow into a someone. That blows my mind.

Today is the day you made me a father. Today is the start of the long road where I get to watch you grow into the woman I already know you’ll become. Even now, as I’m writing this and watching you and your mama nap together, it brings me more joy than I know what to do with.

Right now, I know everything about you. You don’t know a thing about me. So I’m writing this for you- a way for you to know who I was before I was just “Dad.”

Hi, I’m Dean Winchester. Your dad. Not that you’ll ever call me anything else.

It’s November 3rd. And today? Today is the best damn day of my life.

・・・・・

My girl,

You’re a year old today.

I’m sitting here thinking about all the adventures we’ve had this year. The hours we spent figuring out what your mama calls “tummy time.” The late nights you and I stayed up, learning the words to the greatest songs ever written. The times you had my back and peed on your uncle- by the way, kid, that was awesome. And your first steps. Your first “Da.”

And all the times I had to leave to fight the monsters in the world.

That part broke my heart. Every single time.

It feels like I missed so much. If I count it up, it’s probably only a month out of your first year. Doesn’t matter. Feels like too much. Feels like I blinked and lost something I can’t get back.

You and your mama are the best gifts this life’s ever handed me. And even though I hate leaving, I take pride in knowing that when I do, it’s to make the world just a little safer for my girls. That’s what keeps me going. That’s what gets me home.

You’ve got my eyes, kid- those big green ones that make me hand over ice cream when your mama’s not looking, and let you babble your way out of naps. But you’ve got her smile. The brightest damn smile I’ve ever seen. Brighter than the sun, no contest. Right now, your hair’s this sandy blonde. Everyone’s betting it’ll turn brown, but me? I kind of hope it stays just like this.

Who am I today?

I’m the hands that help you climb those weird jungle gym contraptions at the park down the road. I’m the guy trying (and probably failing) to get you to eat peas for the first time.

・・・・・

Happy second birthday, kiddo!

You’re getting so tall. And your hair’s darkened up since last year. Your mama says you look like her sister, but me? I think you look like my mother.

I just know she would’ve loved you.

Someday, when you’re older, we’ll take over the kitchen together. We’ll roll up our sleeves and try to make the cherry pie she used to bake for me. Maybe we’ll nail it. Maybe we’ll make a mess of the whole thing. Either way, it’ll be ours.

・・・・・

Today you’re four.

Cas brought you a kitten. Do you remember what you named that white ball of fluff? Lady. Because you and your mama have been watching that Disney movie with the fancy cats-The Aristocats, I think. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re growing into your own little person, figuring out how you see the world.

You love pie. You think your mama’s the most beautiful woman on the planet (I agree). You think Uncle Sam should get a haircut (I definitely agree).

And kid, you share better than most grown-ups I know. If we’re sneaking cookies late at night, you’ll march straight down the bunker hall waking everyone up to ask if they want one too. You don’t stand for crap, either. We were at the park this week- some kid was being mean to his little brother, and you walked right over and gave him a piece of your mind. Like a true Winchester.

I’m so damn proud of you. Every single day.

My dad never told me that growing up. So I make sure I tell you every chance I get.

・・・・・

My little princess,

I raised my voice at you for the first time this year. And I’m so damn sorry.

See, that’s what I grew up with. Your granddad- the guy you see in those old pictures- he was a tough man. Ran a tight ship. If me or your uncle messed up, he’d yell loud enough to shake the walls. For hours sometimes.

I promised myself I’d never do that to you. And I broke that promise.

Truth is, kiddo, I was scared out of my mind. Somehow- we’re still not sure how- you got your hands on one of my guns. The second I saw you holding it, my heart just dropped. I’d never felt fear like that before.

I yelled. You dropped it. Nothing bad happened, thank God.

But that night, I cried. Right there in your mama’s arms. We both did.

She told me something I won’t ever forget- kids don’t come with manuals. You get dropped into our lives, and we’re just supposed to figure it out as we go. We make mistakes- sometimes big ones. But we learn, and we get better.

Now every single weapon, even the knives I once thought were fine, is locked up tight. Where they always should’ve been.

I’m here to protect you, kiddo. Always. That’ll never change.

・・・・・

10 years old.

Kid, I can’t believe it. Ten whole years.

Every day you’re growing, learning, testing the limits. You used to fit in the palm of my hand- tucked right against my side in what we used to call the Dean Cave. Guess it’s the Dad Cave now.

I’m sitting here, just thinking about how far we’ve come. You’ve been in my life for a decade. Ten years of the best damn moments I’ve ever had. Ten years of watching you figure this crazy world out- piece by piece, question by question.

You amaze me every single day. The way you think. The way you stand up for what’s right. The way you don’t back down, even when it’s hard. You’ve got more guts and heart than most people twice your size.

I feel like I never say it enough. But, I’m so proud of you kiddo. Always.

Love,

Dad.

[instant-bull]

This is neither about Madara nor Kakashi, sorry, but I just know if I don't ask about Mito, no one else will, so: We already talked about besties Madara & Mito but in an Izuna lives AU where Konoha still happens, what do you imagine Mito would think of Izuna? Do you think they'd get along? Why, why not?

(Personally, I like to imagine that she can't stand him in the slightest. For no particular reason but that it's funny to me :P)

Honestly I have to agree: I think their personalities are a perfect storm for petty and unexplainable drama. Let's take a look:

I hate, hate, hate flanderising characters, so while I think Izuna can be a little shit sometimes, I don't see him as the "funnyman" of the group. To an outside observer he might pass off as a laid back, happy-go-lucky type, a type of guy that doesn't care for authority, especially since the authority is partially his older brother (and what's more fun than annoying your siblings). Plus, it seems his favorite past time is draining Tobirama out of his very limited patience: the more blood is in Tobirama's face the bigger grows Izuna's glee.

But even with his minimal presence in manga we can see that he cares, and he cares deeply: he understands the importance of things happening around him, his core values lay in his clan's wellbeing and his family's health and happiness: he's not stupid. Realistically, he must've been brought up with the same expectations as Madara, he knows how to navigate the clan's businesses, he's savvy in terms of relevant geopolitics, he's trained to negotiate and debate as well as he's trained to fight. What's more, he's capable of forming opinions in opposition to the clan consensus—to his older brother—he's not scared of confrontation and conflict even with his closest ones: after all he's a child of war, just as much as the rest of the characters.

With all that in mind, I do enjoy sharing with Izuna my own curse of ADHD (for many reasons irrelevant to this post): so, despite his best intentions and undeniable intelligence, he tends to struggle with prioritizing, following up on his decisions, as well as general carefullness and thoroughness, especially in all things admin.

This last bit, I think, is precisely what gets on Mito's nerves in terms of collaborating with Izuna and having to share workspaces with him. She believes he's not giving his all and tends to see him as a bit lazy, irresponsible kid, who feels entitled to praise and respect just for being an Uchiha. To her, he's the epitome of a spoilt Uchiha child, a consequence of being raised without proper humility.

(Also, she's a woman: she takes an even greater offense to a young man's disrespect. If any cismen are reading this and can't grasp the concept, I don't know what to tell you)

Mito, on the other hand, is put-together, but restless. She knows her worth, she knows her time's worth, she's a self-assured, confident person: thanks to that, she knows how to delegate and has no qualms about it either. She's quite demanding, meaning she expects a certain level of quality and effectiveness from others: once she entrusts someone with a responsibility or a task or mission to fulfill, she expects a timely success. This means that she surrounds herself with bright, effective people, ones she can trust not only on a personal level, but in terms of reliability. It's an honor to get Mito's recognition and work under her, but she's also an absolute nightmare for people with ADHD. She's unflexible and stern, and her work ethic is primed like a precise clockwork mechanism.

(This is an interesting character detail which directly correlates with my headcanon of Mito with Bipolar Disorder, but this is neither here nor there. lmk if you wanna hera about that lol. (also yes I am unable to conceptualize a neurotypical character, piss off))

So, in terms of working together in the village these two can find no common ground and must be kept at two separate ends of any meeting or summit. But, even on personal level, they just don't mash: Mito is easily annoyed by Izuna's antics, she finds his "trolling" (big quotations here) frustrating and obnoxious (she herself is quick to frustration, and he's pushing her buttons even unwillingly). At the same time Izuna finds Mito neurotic (bad word to use here but he'd likely describe her as so), unreasonable and, frankly, quite a bitch, one that decided to target him for no apparent reason and hates him as a side hustle. They lack common interests that could help them bond, and they don't feel interested in sparring together either: sparring must be some sort of expression of fondness and trust, and they just don't have that sort of relationship, nor are they interested to overcome their differences. They just don't fucking like each other, man!

(Which would be really funny in a Tobiizu scenario: "Tobriama, don't bring your husband to my tea party, I'm sorry.")

Closing remarks? Let some bitches hate each other!!

[thefabulousfab-3]

There’s nothing I hate more than people who don’t actually give a shit about Colin, shitting on Penelope in “defense” of him.

[genderkoolaid]

seeing someone say "lesbiphobia" and immediately trying to tell if they just spelled it a weird way or if they are part of the camp who think that spelling it "lesbophobia" is lesbophobic because it includes the word "lesbo" because a twitter user who genuinely calls gay men fags as an insult told them so

[angiiiiexx]

This pic is literally the foundation for all of my Wu and Lloyd headcannons and fics (ideas)

Them and their bond are so very special to me. Wu as the father figure. He literally loves Lloyd like a son. Just them

[foxx-queen]

thinking about the fragment of mythal's spirit finding flemeth. 'she was betrayed as I was betrayed'. morrigan confirming the version of flemeth's history that saw her living in poverty, sold by her husband to a lord who desired her. the parallels to the warden city elf origin. morrigan telling us it's easy to imagine how flemeth and mythal related to one another. 'betrayed by those sworn to love her'. mythals murder at the hands of her fellow gods, the figures that were her husband and children in dalish legends. 'mens hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature'. mythal being a fragment of who she was, split from herself, lost, and she 'clawed and crawled her way through the ages' to a woman betrayed and wounded and left for dead locked in the dark.

thinking about what that moment might've been like for both of them. flemeth lifting her head to a spirit reaching out to her. the fragment of mythal finding a place to rest in a soul that resonated with her. 'your grief must come later... in the dark shadows before you take vengeance, as my mother once said'. did flemeth mean mythal, when she spoke of her mother? was that something mythal said to flemeth in the moments before they became one? 'duty must come now'. duty to the world? flemeth carried mythal through the ages, nudging history when required, aiding and preparing the world for a reckoning she knew would come. 'considering what the world has done to me, I have already done more than it deserves'. the moments in history that could be read as mythal attempting to mend a world she helped to break, and wanting to protect the world that formed from what was broken from being destroyed all over again. she couldn't have done that without flemeth, who had no hand in breaking the world to begin with.

'i am but an old woman, whom the world has largely forgotten'. thedas as we know it wouldn't be there without flemeth. she was murdered, and solas painted her as an elf because he saw her as no more than a vessel for his oldest friend, and refused to acknowledge that he was murdering her too, because she was just a fragment. they'd lived for centuries as one person. kieran mentions that he feels lonely without the old god soul. it must've been lonely, watching and guiding the world as she did. maybe she doesn't hide that shes an old woman because of how the years might've weighed on her. 'regret is something I know well'. mythals regrets are never spoken of, because we never get the chance to hear them. would one of them have been burdening a mortal in such a way? or is that not something she could regret, because of how she came to her in the first place?

'regret that she would never see me again'. maybe it is a little jarring for players to hear morrigan speak of flemeth without all the vitriol we've come to expect. to hear something like sadness when we know what their relationship is like. but we saw flemeth's face when morrigan told her that she would not be like her, in her instant defence of kieran. it's been ten years since morrigan absorbed flemeth and mythals combined memories. she knows everything she's done and everything she's suffered, and how she might've felt about it all. all those regrets. sometimes we don't have to forgive the people who've hurt us to understand them. sometimes we love them despite it all.

[synchodai]

Pet peeve: I am so miffed by "Why are all the villains in BG3 men?" takes, because it usually involves downplaying the narrative importance and villainy of the female antagonists we do have. Sometimes they'll acknowledge Orin but actively ignore Mizora, Minthara, Z'rell, Viconia, Shar, the godsdamned Elder Brain. "But the Elder Brain isn't woman—" Look, if you classify the Emperor as a "man" in your gifset showing off all the male villains, I don't see why the Elder Brain can't be a woman.

[kawiarenkii]

i hate the whole idea of what a crush is that people have because what if i want to just be goofy and hold hands and FAKE FLIRT with my friends as a lesbian who isn’t interested in any sort of romantic relationship . does this make sense at all

[paceypeternathanslawyer]

People are so clearly biased in their hatred of John B

I seriously saw someone attack John B because he "didn't cry enough after JJ died" ya'll dipshits do realize that he cried more than Kiara did? Yet I don't see them attacking Kiara... and Kiara was dating the fuckin dude!!

John B literally can't do any right in the eyes of JJ stans. Tomorrow I'll see someone say that John B is horrible because when he cried, his tears fell down on his left cheek vs his right cheek 🙄🙄

[britneyshakespeare]

also sorry this peer feedback i got on my cymbeline/young king essay is making me melt <3 someone who fucking GETS IT!!!!

[thatimageoftomscott]

posting his mom's name here...i get why tom hates us

hate is a strong word. but it does sound scary as hell when you take a step back and think about it doesn't it? you make a silly flash animation once as a teenager, your mum voices one (1) character, you write her name in the credits, post it on your website along with all your other projects, the wayback machine crawls through it and boom suddenly twenty five years down the line any idiot with an internet connection and no hobbies can just see it if they go looking for it. tom understands that once something gets posted online it can never truly be taken down better than any of us. nonetheless, you are right in suggesting that maybe it is a step too far lol. i wont lie to you and say that a part of me wasnt deliberating on wether what i was doing was ok or if i was being a dick but ive seen other people share it before and i got carried away. the original tags have been redacted, if nothing elese then at least for my own peace of mine.

[lunammoon]

i wish more than anything that people online actually got Vivienne bc currently i have to defend her far more than i would want to because so many people don't GET her and end up accusing her of being the wrong kind of annoying and so i have to defend her as if she doesn't remind me of one of my most frustrating to talk to cousins

[yoohyeon]

Just came back from my social worker and guys that time we went deep into my soul 😭 jfbsjdbd

[homoeroticvillain]

oogh not really happy with this, but i finally drew rey, who is teddy's betrothed [lore dump in tags]

[anxiously-sidequesting]

the only reason why I dont post more about gretta darkkettle is because then I'd actually get Serious on here